Thursday, November 25, 2010

'Glee'-Cap: Celebrate The Birth Of 'Furt'

We're not sure what was up with that Carol Burnett storyline, but sing along anyway.
By Jim Cantiello, with additional reporting by Vaughn Trudeau Schoonmaker


Chris Colfer and Cory Monteith in the "Furt" episode of "Glee"
Photo: FOX

This week's "Glee" episode, "Furt," featured not one, but two weddings — and not one, but two Bruno Mars songs. More important, it actually took the Kurt/bullying storyline somewhere. Celebrate with us and sing along!

Do you want a wedding episode?
I do! I do!
Do I want "Glee" in a happy mode?
I do! Do you
Know why I'm crying
When this show
Used to
Be funny and so shiny?
But now I feel sad
For tortured Kurt and lonely Sue
His bully's mad
Kurt doesn't know what he should do
But cheer up, dude!
Your bully's dad is from "Lost" so that means he's totally going to explode.

["Lost" clip of Arzt holding dynamite and exploding.] Anyone remember that from season one?

Do you believe the boys stood up for Kurt?
I do, I do
Except for Finn, who tried his best to avert.
So boo to
Him until the wedding scene where
We saw Finn
Dedicate a sweet song to his
New half-kin.
But why were the pronouns all messy,
She's a him?
I guess "Glee" won't change lyrics unless
It is about transsexuals.
That's right I'm still not over that "Rocky Horror" episode, you guys.

Just sayin'.

Sue Sylvester marries herself 'cause she can't find a match.
Mama Sue shows up but this plot point doesn't attach.
I guess producers had the chance to shoot with Carol Burnett,
So they wrote in a Nazi-hunter filled with maternal regret.

How can I blame them for wanting to include Carol?
Ryan Murphy clearly said, "Sure now, what the hell?"
A shame her singing voice now sounds a lot like her Tarzan yell
Is she coasting on her name?

[Clip of Carol emphatically saying, "I AM NOT!"] [Jim speaks] Sorry, no disrespect! [Tugs on his earlobe.]

[Singing]
Do you want to know how "Glee" ends up? I do! You do!
Sue expels the bully but the school board sucks,
So Sue
Resigns as principal in protest
Mr. Schue
Says regionals are coming next
But Kurt's to do
List includes dodging closet cases
Out to bruise
His porcelain skin with so much hate
He chooses to
Transfer to the private school that's basically paradise for gays.

Let's all praise!
This storyline is great! When's the last time I had such nice things to say about "Glee," you guys? Huzzah, Ryan Murphy.

What did you think of this week's "Glee"? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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